There are going to be a lot of posts tonight about the documentary "Miss Representation." I believe that it was an amazing film and highlighted many ugly truths that we do not want to face about our society, but in the interest of making sure that this isn't a rambling mess, I want to point out something that echoed in my mind throughout the screening. There was a statement about the objectification of women and their constant downplay leads to men believing that they are superior. That is no lie, as I can remember countless times in my childhood, being asked "How did you let a girl score higher than you on that test?" or "How that girl outrun you?" Masculinity is not only about power, it is about dominance over the weaker sex, but when you think about it, masculinity is one of the most fragile things there are. How many times have you walked around and heard a guy say something completely innocuous only to follow it up with "no homo?" Any threat to masculinity requires its defense or its credibility is completely blown.
Why is this relevant to feminism you may ask? Because feminism, especially 3rd wave, is about personal freedom. I don't claim to be an expert, but I do believe in the values expressed by feminism, and from what I have seen, it is not men vs women as some would claim, it is the people vs the system, or the patriarchy as it is commonly called. That system forces us into boxes that state how we are permitted and forbidden to behave. I can't speak on women's experiences, but I can speak from a male perspective, hence the title of this post. The deeper problem of masculinity is that it is so precious to men that it causes us to think that any thing NOT masculine, i.e. feminine, is 'bad.' Cooking, housework, sewing, dancing, and many more are considered feminine and therefore shouldn't be done by a man. What I love about this course is that not only we are in my favorite section, but about to cover one of my biggest complaints with masculinity as a concept. Want to enjoy something described as feminine but don't want others to think you're not masculine? Throw the word "bro" or some other masculine prefix in there somewhere. Yoga? No man, Broga. Eyeliner? No way, Guyliner. It's like we can't even leave words the same without reasserting masculinity in some way.
At the end of the day, it's stifling. Men can't be soft, we can't be emotional, we can't do things that women do, we can't be outdone by a woman at things men are "supposed" to do. We have to protect the idea that men are masculine, and that means we are stronger, smarter, and better than women. It's unfortunate that some of us truly think that way and cannot handle it when it isn't true. I've known men to quit their job because a woman was appointed above them...it's that bad. At the end of the day, masculinity is a fragile shell that we are taught at a young age is the definition of our value in life. Go through girls, get cars, get money, play sports, be a man. I used to try to live my life to these guidelines until I stopped and decided being happy was more important to me, even if it meant people telling me that I wasn't being "a man." If you ever catch yourself saying that, ask yourself two things. How can someone stop being what sex/gender they are with an action? and what's so wrong with not being masculine?
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